This isn't a story about karaoke, but rather, about an important mystery we have all shared. Since it happened at a gig one night, I thought I should report it in my blog, especially because socks rhymes with fox and it seems everyone wants to know what the fox says.
Where DO the socks go? We have all speculated on the phenomenon of lost socks. We put them in the washer, then the dryer, but then where do they go? The chain of evidence is never in doubt, yet somehow, socks can disappear. One theory holds that socks can somehow be "eaten" by the washer or the dryer. This scenario, however, makes little sense if you really about it. If it was true, then wouldn't the sock clog the machine causing it to break down at some point? One person I asked postulated that the sock can break down into lint and you'll find it in your lint screen, but we all know how implausible this theory is. What kind of devil dryer could do this to a sock?
Have you ever considered this problem from the viewpoint of a sock? Of all our clothing, socks get the least amount of respect. They absorb the sweat from our feet, we stand on them all day and as close as they are to our shoes, which are frequently the subject of compliment, socks get no such recognition. One might argue that a man's boxers, etc, or a woman's panties see more dirt, but they are at least in charge of protecting sensitive, vital areas. We have all heard of sexy lingerie, but lingerie doesn't include socks. T-shirts, once just underwear, are now regularly worn on the outside, often decorated with funny slogans or trumpeting the places you have visited. Marlon Brando, no less, immortalized the "wife-beater" in "Streetcar Named Desire." The only time socks are ever considered sexy is when they are knee socks as part of a sexy Catholic school girl Halloween costume; and if we really think about it, it's not the socks which are actually sexy. Socks are also the only regularly worn article of clothing which comes in pairs. Even when we don't lose socks in the laundry, we still have to match them which can be a pain in the ass. We'll even make fun of someone who isn't wearing matching socks.
So, if you had to be an article of clothing, why would you want to be a sock? You wouldn't. Maybe socks feel the same way.
I had just finished setting up my equipment and was chatting with a friend at the bar before my show started. As I was standing by the bar, I noticed something stuck to my shoe. It was black, and at first, I thought it was a piece of paper. As I shook my leg to get it off, a sock slipped out of my pant leg! A-HA! Apparently, socks hide in other articles of clothing, then try to escape when you aren't paying attention! But I caught this one! Sneaky little devils! Now you know where the socks go. Sid out!
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