I know it has been a long time since I've posted to my blog, but hopefully that will change in 2015. In fact, that will be my first resolution for the coming year. Write more! Anyway, here is my list of resolutions for 2015.
1) Don't date singers anymore. Even though karaoke is the primary vehicle for me to meet new people, dating karaoke "clients" hasn't worked out. One time, I even had to call the police. If this leads to celibacy, so be it. It's a state preferable to dealing with demonic ex-lovers. To quote Woody Allen - "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
2) If Sabra, one half of the Sid and Sabra Show, gives me relationship advice when asked, then listen!
3) I pledge to try not to roll my eyes whenever someone hands me a request slip for "Don't Stop Believin'." This might be a hard one.
4) Always remember to turn up the reverb for Johnny Salka. He loves that shit.
5) Learn a new rap song already!
6) I pledge to stop blaming political opponents for killing my dog. She died of old age. We'll see what happens when the next election cycle rolls around.
7) Do not play N.W.A. in the current climate.
8) Give people named Al, Alan, Alex, Alexandra, Alexandria, Alyssa, Allison or Allie new names. It can get mad confusing when all the "Al's" are there at the same time.
9) Punch the next person who asks me if there is any wait to sing when the bar is packed. Okay, just kidding, sort of.
10) Be more patient with the poor fools who want to give me a dollar tip to get bumped up 10 spots in the rotation instead of thinking - "Are you fucking kidding me?"
11) When someone asks me if I know where they are in the rotation, I pledge to say more than just "yes."
12) Stop associating every song over 5 minutes long with a cigarette,
13) Stop getting stressed out when what's her name comes in to haunt me. (see #1)
14) Write a letter to the Governor calling him chicken for not coming to karaoke since he's been elected.
15) Lobby the legislators who come to karaoke to pass a resolution recognizing "Karaoke Day" and the importance of karaoke in facilitating cooperation at the Capital.
16) Always wear my knee brace when Samantha Fox comes to dance.
17) Get the City of Albany off our backs with its idiotic restrictions in the Cabaret License Law. The city is facing much bigger problems than people singing all night long.
18) Continue doing what I love. Karaoke Forever!
