Songs I Love To Hate

Let me start by saying that there are very few songs I actually hate. I may not love or enjoy them but hate is a strong word. There is even a song called "Hate" by a former local group, China White, which I actually love. Rather, this post will be about songs which a lot of people actually love, but which as a DJ, I often wish would go away. Every karaoke DJ knows what I am talking about. Each has his or her own personal list, but the point is the same. When someone submits a request slip with one of these songs, it makes the DJ cringe.

There are different reasons why I might "hate" a song. If it's a busy night and someone wants to sing a very long song, it creates a dilemma for me. I want the customer to be happy, but if the song is twice as long as an average selection, it's not really fair to the other singers. It's akin to getting two songs in a row. On the other hand, if it's a slower night, I don't mind at all. Then there are songs which I have simply heard way too many times. I am sure you have all suffered from the "overplayed song" syndrome on the radio. Before you start worrying, I am not talking about your own "go to" songs that you sing every time you come into karaoke. Rather, I am referring to certain songs that people everywhere want to sing over and over, especially because they think they are "awesome," "great" or better than the original. They usually aren't. The people who sing these songs usually aren't karaoke regulars. If they were, they wouldn't pick these songs anyway. The latest hit song is also dangerous. It might be popular but beyond the ability of most singers. That might get me thinking - seriously?

Before you get your panties all up in a bunch, sing whatever you want. Unless there is a real issue, like a time constraint, I will let you sing your song. A long song even helps me sometimes. I might need a bathroom break or want to get a drink from the bar. So don't worry. I love you and I love karaoke. At the end of the day, I just want you to have a good time, even if I hate what you're singing.

So here is a list of some of the songs which are my pet peeves, in no particular order. And again, just because one of them happens to be a favorite of yours, don't worry about it. It's just karaoke.

"Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey
     Depending on who sings it, this song can either be a lot of fun or excruciatingly painful. It's also one of the most popular karaoke songs of all time, which means I have to hear it a lot. I'll admit that I have never been a fan of Journey, but no one can deny that Steve Perry could sing the shit out of this song. Very often, a group of people gets up to sing it, so I don't mind too much. I like to see a lot of people having fun at once. Unfortunately, it often leads to screaming because most people can't reach the high notes. Where is Steve Perry when you need him?

"My Immortal" by Evanescence
     It's a song which starts: "I'm so tired of being here.." DJ's should pass out razor blades when someone gets up to sing this song. It's not just sad, it's nauseating. There are some great sad songs. This is not one of them. And if you're "so tired of being here," then maybe you should just go home. Maybe this song shouldn't be on the list because I don't really love to hate it. I just hate it.

"American Pie" by Don McLean
     Growing up, I loved Don McLean and this song. I still love the song but I almost always hate it at karaoke, even though the crowd loves to sing along to the chorus. First of all, it's a very long song, so it takes time away from other singers. It's also deceptively hard to sing, especially for most of the people requesting it. Bye, bye Miss American Pie.

"Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
     There are plenty of reasons this song could be on the list but I don't have the space to discuss them in this blog. I guess I do because it's my blog, but who would want to read a treatise? Since the bass line is stolen from Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure," it's undeniably catchy. The real reason I hate this song at karaoke is because most of the people who sing it really can't keep up with the lyrics. Ed, if you're reading this, you are always welcome to sing it. Unfortunately, many people have come up to me guaranteeing that they can "kill it." They usually do. R.I.P.

"Killing Me Softly" by The Fugees
     I love this song. I sing it at karaoke. I love the Roberta Flack original too. That one even has an extra verse. Lauryn Hill, who sings it in the Fugees version, is a magnificent talent, as crazy as she is. It's no wonder that so many women love this song. Unfortunately, as much as many of the singers attempting to sing this song love Lauryn Hill or fantasize about being as talented as Lauryn Hill, they don't come close. In the hands of the right singer, it's a pleasure. However, every time someone new comes into karaoke and requests this song, I pray that they don't ruin it for me. Another problem with it is that so many women consider it their "jam." "This is my jam," they shout.  Then they try to sing over the person on the mic. Lauryn Hill is one of the biggest divas of all time.  Having ten divas all "singing" together can be maddening.

"Piano Man" by Billy Joel
     Another great song by a great artist. I even have the single on 45. I'm old. Deal with it. I hate this song at karaoke for the same reasons as I hate "American Pie." Both often end up as a shit show.

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot
     A very fun song in the hands of the right person. Like "Ice Ice Baby," it's a novelty song loved my many. Why so many people think that they can pull it off well just because they like it is due to only one reason. Too much alcohol.

"Wannabe" by The Spice Girls
     First of all, it's usually misspelled on request slips because most people want to spell it correctly. And trust me, there are a lot of bad spellers out there. The Spice Girls were hugely popular and this is their biggest hit so it makes sense that it is requested fairly often, especially by young women wishing to relive their high school years. You might think that this is a song I hate to love because it's usually sung by a quartet of cute girls, and now that I think of it, maybe you're right. Who doesn't like excited beauties belting out a song? On the other hand, it's usually chosen by inexperienced karaoke singers. Because there are two singing parts and usually four singers who get up together, the song often becomes a confused mess and devolves into shouting. Every now and then though, "Wannabe" is perfect guilty pleasure. Spicy!

"Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard
     Although I understand that "sugar" refers to the woman being sung to in the song, it just sounds all wrong to me, especially the lyric: "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet." Although it's a fun song, it's often requested by guys who have drunk too much cheap beer in their life and are somewhat unfamiliar with personal hygiene, begging the question why anyone would want to pour sugar on them. I guess you could call it the "gross" factor. On the other hand, it's quite delightful when a woman sings it. "I'm hot, sticky sweet" takes on a whole other meaning.

"American Trilogy" by Elvis Presley
     This is another song I love to hate because I just hate it. Although it was a huge hit for Elvis and is quite stirring musically, it starts off with "Dixie." You know - "wish I was in the land of cotton..." "Dixie," as the unofficial anthem of the Confederacy, makes me cringe, and if a song can make Sid Stein cringe, it must really be cringe-worthy. I think it's racist so please don't request it. I won't play it. Sometimes, I just have to exercise disc jockutorial discretion. Shout out to Jesse Calhoun for coming up with that term.

"What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong
     Without dispute, this is a beautiful song and Louis Armstrong is one of my all-time favorite musicians. Unfortunately, it's often requested by people who insist on mimicking Armstrong's unique voice. Plenty of people strive to sound like Elvis or Sinatra, but this is the song most caricatured at karaoke. When sung by a white person mimicking Armstrong, the song takes on a minstrel show quality, which like "Dixie," makes me cringe. If you want to sing it, go ahead.  Just lose the Louis Armstrong voice.  Thanks!

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler
     First of all, it's a long song which can make singers who are waiting get antsy. That being said, it's not a bad song. It's a good sing-a-long. On the other hand, it often gets mangled by overzealous drinkers. When I originally posted this, I called the song "Total Eclipse of the Sun." I am sure I have seen that on request slips more than once. Still, I should have caught that mistake. Thanks for pointing out the error, Chris! It's good to know I can rely on my karaoke nation!

"Creeep" by Radiohead
     Please refer to my previous post about this song which was published on October 13, 2013.

"My Way" by Frank Sinatra
     I don't think there is a Sinatra song that I don't like. Some are better than others, but none are bad. I absolutely love Frankie. Sometimes it comes out great. Other times, I wonder if we shouldn't restrict our 2nd Amendment rights. I read in the New York Times that some singers in the Philippines have been murdered for murdering this song at karaoke.

"Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
    Another catchy song gone awry too many times. It's a huge crowd-pleaser and everyone loves to sing along. Unfortunately, it's beyond the range of many who choose it. It's often sung by novice singers who think they can "kill" it, not realizing that the crowd loves the song no matter how poorly it's sung. I can't tell you how many times someone new to my show has come up to me and told me that they are going to bring the roof down with this song. Truthfully, there have been times when I wished the roof really did come down.

"Summer Nights" from "Grease" by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta
     First of all, get the name of the song right.  It's "Summer Nights," not "Summer Loving." It's a great duet and I will sing it when someone needs a partner. Here's a tip. If your karaoke DJ doesn't have this song, then the DJ has no business doing karaoke. We all have it. For some reason though, it's the song which most frequently is requested by people who don't look in my songbooks. The songbooks are there for a reason. You can browse for a song because you aren't sure what you want to sing or you can check to see if I have the song because you already know what you want to sing. When you come up and request it verbally (not submitting a request slip, that is), I might answer yes, and the bar serves Budweiser too. Too often I am asked, "Do you have Summer Loving?" I answer politely, "No, but I have "Summer Nights." "Ok! I'll sing that one." Then they "sing" it. Oy!

"Picture" by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
     Although I am not a fan of country music, it does have a place at karaoke. It's a very singable genre and this song is beloved by country fans. It can also ruin an otherwise upbeat night because it's so slow and on the long side. And, it's often sung by people who think they know it well but really don't. I often find myself thinking that I can't wait for it to be over.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
     I love Queen and I love this song.  Unfortunately, it often turns into a total "shit show." And it's a long shit show, to boot. If you're going to request it, please include at least one person who can carry the group.

"Paradise By The Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf
    Most times, I would rather die. It's a very long song, hard to sing and almost always gets mangled. On rare occasions, it has been awesome. More often than not, it's the shittiest of shit shows and totally unbearable. And it goes on forever and ever. If it's a very busy night and a lot of singers are in the rotation, don't be surprised if I ask you to choose another song. It's not paradise for me. It's pure hell.

That's my list for now. It's not complete, but I think you get the picture. And just because I don't like a song, you can still sing it - most of the time. It's karaoke! I love you, Nation, with all your warts.